So I have been praying a lot lately about what the HECK im gonna do with my life when i graduate. I have successfully put of graduating for another semester, but I can't do that forever. So i've just been hoping something falls in my lap. I really feel the passion to go out into the world and do humanitarian work, whether missionary or not. I really love pouring into people's lives and helping out people who need it. It really sort of uplifts me in some way. So I looked into the Peace Corps and Journeyman programs but a whole 2 year committment is kind of a huge deal for me. I just feel like i would be away forever and miss so much and miss my friends. It was hard even being away from my friends for the 2 months i was in Spain. Soooo that's a really really really huge issue. So for the meantime i'm just trying to figure out what I want to do for next summer and i've been praying over that too. Then my dad tells me about the trips my home church has coming up. And they just seem perfect, but expensive. He also said that my uncles would more than be happy to help pay for the trips especially since they know what it's for. So that is really amazing. Im gonna look into it. :) Both of the trips are 2 weeks long, one to poland (which i fell in love with last time i went) and the other to Uganda.
Oh, and officially and finally, i have TRULY given the whole "finding a husband" deal completely over to God. I'm through chasing boys and getting my heart broken and just trying so hard to end up with a dead end. Like Franklin said, God wants to fight the battle for us, it's His battle, not mine. And this has been a really fantastic week because it's just been freeing and wonderful. I'm glad i finally came to my senses. I want my future husband to find ME, pursue ME, treat ME like a princess instead of me always running around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to get his attention, hang out with him, etc etc etc. So here's to the future of me not caring that I dont have a boyfriend, that I might graduate with no even hint of a guy in my life and being completely and utterly happy with just being.... me. I've never thought about what is best for ME, what I want.... it's always been about finding someone, not being lonely. And im finally okay with ME.
okay. i think that's my rant.
On another note, I shamefully have given into this "twilight" phenomenon. You can judge me if you want. but i have read 300 pages in 2 days..... and barely left my couch but to eat and use the bathroom.
1 comment:
Gah! You have finally given in to the blogosphere. Be prepared to geek out and totally catch yourself saying, I can't wait to post about that.
Don't worry too much about the future. I learned that the hard way. You're getting ready to enter your very last semester of college and I FULLY encourage you to live in the present. Make a list of everything you want to do before you leave and try and do as many of them as possible. I left town with SO many things left undone because I was too busy focusing on the what-ifs. And thats a HUGE revelation for Mr. Structure over here who graduated with zero pieces of his 5 year plan ready to be enacted. Let go of the worrying and things will present themselves. I've seen it happen so many times over the last 6 months.
As far as part 2...good for you. Again, it took me a while to realize that as well. I finally had to back off and realize that I needed to spend some time on me before I spent time on someone else. Getting worked up over the opposite sex only makes life more frustrating. Take solace in knowing that you're not alone.
Have a good Turkey Break!
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